An Emotional Affair: How To Move On

Discovering that your partner has had an emotional affair can be devastating.  How do I know?  Because I've been there.  You agonize over where you went wrong; analyze in minute detail everything that happened in the preceding weeks or months and wonder just where the hell you go from here.

Of course one of the biggest questions you ask yourself is - why?  What was missing in your relationship to drive your partner into the arms of someone else.  Unfortunately there is very often no clear reason.  Perhaps it happened because your partner began to feel dissatisfied in the relationship, harboring resentments that they chose not to talk about.  You may have noticed the signs of discontent or neglect but, like me, chose to bury your head in the sand and hope it would all go away.

If you look back at your relationship candidly (oh the value of hindsight!) were there times when you could have made your partner feel more special or just been more communicative?  If, like us, neither of you were working at it, the chances are that your emotional connection with each other suffered badly.

But whatever the reason, the simple fact of the matter is that your relationship has gone through a breakdown in understanding and intimacy and it's these areas you really need to concentrate on.  If your partner has admitted to having an emotional affair, then no matter how hurt and bewildered you feel at the moment, believe me, this can be the first step to restoring the bond between you.

That said, if you really want your relationship to survive, then you will need to learn to communicate intimately with each other again.  This won't be easy, particularly if you've both got out of the habit of being open and honest with each other, but it really is vital that you persist, even if your partner begrudges your efforts at first.  There is no excuse for a husband or wife to cheat, either emotionally, sexually or both, but if your partner went outside of your relationship to get that 'special' feeling, then perhaps that's something that you need to provide.

So, just how do you move on from your partner's emotional affair and learn to communicate with each other intimately again?

I know how difficult it can be when you really don't know where to start, but you can get immediate help by downloading the 7 part 'Survive an Affair' course from Marriage Sherpa.com.

The course includes communication techniques aimed at rebuilding your emotional connection and will help you both create a new foundation of trust after the affair.

Click here now for instant access

Infidelity In Marriage

And having experienced infidelity in your marriage, how can you ever know the truth from the lies and learn to trust your partner again?

One of the hardest things to deal with when your spouse has had an affair is the struggle to understand how you actually fell for the lies, how you didn’t cotton on to what was happening right under your nose!

But anyone can be hoodwinked by a good liar and there really is no easy way to spot an untruth.
Once your world has been shattered by the realisation that at least a part of your marriage has been based on a bed of deceit, it’s extremely difficult to tell exactly what is real and what is fiction and you may long for that time when you believed that your partner’s word was inviolate.  You may want to trust them again but it’s a long and arduous process which needs your partner’s wholehearted commitment to creating a new level of trust between you both.

Sometimes it’s hard to accept or believe that your spouse is no longer lying and you need concrete proof that the affair is over, but knowing with 100% accuracy whether or not your partner is still lying to you may well be a pointless use of your time and energy.  If you want to rebuild a shattered relationship, at some point you have to have faith that your partner is telling you the truth and begin to create that new level of trust, one step at a time.

However, even if both of you are committed to rebuilding the trust between you, the biggest hurdle may be that you want more from your cheating spouse than a verbal request for forgiveness, however remorseful.  You may want constant confirmation that they are truly working towards changing their character both inside and outside.

One way a cheating spouse can offer this reassurance is by keeping in regular contact and by openly sharing their activities.  For example, calling a couple of times day to let you know where they are and what they are doing can go a long way towards putting the infidelity behind you and starting to rebuild your marriage.

If you really need help in creating a new foundation of trust after an affair, you can get immediate support and guidance by downloading the 7 part 'Survive An Affair' course from Marriage Sherpa.com.  Within the course are key exercises that will help each of you take positive steps to create new levels of trust and intimacy and provide you with a realistic plan to heal yourself and your marriage.


Click here for instant access