Infidelity In Marriage

And having experienced infidelity in your marriage, how can you ever know the truth from the lies and learn to trust your partner again?

One of the hardest things to deal with when your spouse has had an affair is the struggle to understand how you actually fell for the lies, how you didn’t cotton on to what was happening right under your nose!

But anyone can be hoodwinked by a good liar and there really is no easy way to spot an untruth.
Once your world has been shattered by the realisation that at least a part of your marriage has been based on a bed of deceit, it’s extremely difficult to tell exactly what is real and what is fiction and you may long for that time when you believed that your partner’s word was inviolate.  You may want to trust them again but it’s a long and arduous process which needs your partner’s wholehearted commitment to creating a new level of trust between you both.

Sometimes it’s hard to accept or believe that your spouse is no longer lying and you need concrete proof that the affair is over, but knowing with 100% accuracy whether or not your partner is still lying to you may well be a pointless use of your time and energy.  If you want to rebuild a shattered relationship, at some point you have to have faith that your partner is telling you the truth and begin to create that new level of trust, one step at a time.

However, even if both of you are committed to rebuilding the trust between you, the biggest hurdle may be that you want more from your cheating spouse than a verbal request for forgiveness, however remorseful.  You may want constant confirmation that they are truly working towards changing their character both inside and outside.

One way a cheating spouse can offer this reassurance is by keeping in regular contact and by openly sharing their activities.  For example, calling a couple of times day to let you know where they are and what they are doing can go a long way towards putting the infidelity behind you and starting to rebuild your marriage.

If you really need help in creating a new foundation of trust after an affair, you can get immediate support and guidance by downloading the 7 part 'Survive An Affair' course from Marriage Sherpa.com.  Within the course are key exercises that will help each of you take positive steps to create new levels of trust and intimacy and provide you with a realistic plan to heal yourself and your marriage.


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